It's been awhile. Sorry about that. Life has been busy with lots of up's and some down's just like with any person. Lately I have been missing writing, just writing for my personal interest so, again, I apologize if this blog may be a tad rough in it's nature and structure.
Do you ever wonder if you purposefully ruin the good things in your life because you can't bare the thought of something in your life actually coming to life? Something that you have always wanted, and now that this something is placed gracefully in the palm of your hand it becomes too terrifying to possibly break because of your humanity? So you, being the "overthinker" that you are, decide to run the other way? Yeah. That is something that I have become all too familiar with as each day passes.
I was on my way to getting my dance degree at Cal State Fullerton, something that I have dreamed of since I was young girl, and that little girl finally got her chance to work less and dance more. Yet here we are, not even a full semester in and already withdrawn from the school. Now of course there were many attributes that caused me to leave this dream and most of them were legitimate, especially the fact that I had no time to make money and couldn't afford to live on my own. That was the biggest reason. But then again, if I really wanted it, shouldn't of I gone after it regardless? I don't know.
Then there's the possibility of leaving a job that I highly loath for a job that would be more fulfilling and one that gives back to others. One that highlights a passion of mine. Yet here I am, putting off calling them back to fully achieve a position that can completely change the course of my life for the better. It's only been two days though so I guess it's not a big deal... Right?
Currently, I am sitting in the lobby of a store that I am covering at, debating on whether or not to give a handsome man with a funny personality and sweet demeanor my number and I can't even bring myself to do so because of the crippling fear I have of being rejected. Regardless of the fact that he has made a point to come and sit with me on every single one of his breaks, asking when I will be working next, doing everything a man interested in a woman would do. I can't, too much time has passed.
Twist to this story?
He asked for my number.
I guess everything will work itself out. Lesson learned. Thank you for lending a listening ear.
Sincerely,
Paige
