Self-Deprication

It's been awhile. Sorry about that. Life has been busy with lots of up's and some down's just like with any person. Lately I have been missing writing, just writing for my personal interest so, again, I apologize if this blog may be a tad rough in it's nature and structure. 

Do you ever wonder if you purposefully ruin the good things in your life because you can't bare the thought of something in your life actually coming to life? Something that you have always wanted, and now that this something is placed gracefully in the palm of your hand it becomes too terrifying to possibly break because of your humanity? So you, being the "overthinker" that you are, decide to run the other way? Yeah. That is something that I have become all too familiar with as each day passes. 

I was on my way to getting my dance degree at Cal State Fullerton, something that I have dreamed of since I was young girl, and that little girl finally got her chance to work less and dance more. Yet here we are, not even a full semester in and already withdrawn from the school. Now of course there were many attributes that caused me to leave this dream and most of them were legitimate, especially the fact that I had no time to make money and couldn't afford to live on my own. That was the biggest reason. But then again, if I really wanted it, shouldn't of I gone after it regardless? I don't know. 

Then there's the possibility of leaving a job that I highly loath for a job that would be more fulfilling and one that gives back to others. One that highlights a passion of mine. Yet here I am, putting off calling them back to fully achieve a position that can completely change the course of my life for the better. It's only been two days though so I guess it's not a big deal... Right?

Currently, I am sitting in the lobby of a store that I am covering at, debating on whether or not to give a handsome man with a funny personality and sweet demeanor my number and I can't even bring myself to do so because of the crippling fear I have of being rejected. Regardless of the fact that he has made a point to come and sit with me on every single one of his breaks, asking when I will be working next, doing everything a man interested in a woman would do. I can't, too much time has passed.

Twist to this story? 

He asked for my number.

I guess everything will work itself out. Lesson learned. Thank you for lending a listening ear.

Sincerely,

Paige

Companion

Vintage Enthusiast/ Vintage Recreation; The Birth of a New Confidence.

Man, oh, man have I been lazy... Or over worked? Definitely not lazy, so I guess overworked. Working multiple jobs while juggling school on top of that is a massive challenge and takes a toll on you. For awhile there I had gotten to a point of not caring about my appearance and fashion, I honestly was just trying to survive my hectic schedule. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I really need my time of getting dolled up in order to feel confident and ready to take on the world. So here's to making that a minuscule priority again!

Vintage recreation is something that has been dear to my heart since Jr. High really, it was a way for me to stand out and be unique without anyone saying otherwise. For those of you who may wonder how someone develops the vintage enthusiast bug, I think that varies for everyone. For me? I was bullied in seventh grade. I tried so desperately to fit in with a group of "emo" kids (...I know... Don't worry, it was short lived.) and they called bluff on me, this was possibly the best thing that could have ever happened to me. 

(Don't judge my chipped polish... Don't act like you don't have it every once in a blue moon. Tehe.)

After that year I remember spending time with my older cousin Shelby and she had been rocking the vintage style for quite awhile. She would style my hair and makeup in fashions that resembled the 1950s and 1960s and I just remember feeling at home in that style. I felt good. I felt happy. It was right.  

The following year I had come back to school with red lips, curled hair, and a flower pinned to my head; I was never heading back. Thank you Shelby for this introduction of vintage in my life. 

Fast forward nine years, and I am still madly in love with the style. Nothing beats a perfect pin curl set with waves that turned out better than you expected, or a fluffy petticoat underneath a circle skirt to twirl around in with heels that make you want to hop into a technicolor dream and dance until the camera lens pans in on the final scene. 

My point? If you have ever had an interest in the vintage enthusiast ways and have yearned to recreate old fashions, try it. Don't be afraid to let your inner Marilyn, Audrey, Lucille, Rita, or Ginger come out, you just might find something that truly makes your confidence sore. 

Till next time my loverlies,

Paige Virginia 

Bows, Kitty Whiskers, and Fairytales.

Here are a few of my favorite things... (go ahead and sing the song, that's my goal with this post...)

I love bows. Flat out, plain, and simple. Bows and I go together like peanut-butter and jelly, they are the ying to my yang. I LOVE BOWS. I found these adorable shoes at the thrift store and these are by far my new favorite shoes. They are perfect for fall and have a bit of a 1930's or 1940's vibe to them but can honestly go with almost any decade including a more modern fashion.

I also love my kitty and her cute little whiskers. For those of you who don't know me I love this little thing, her name is Audrey and she is the weirdest, dow-eyed, kitty I think I have ever met. I love her so.

To live in a world of fantasy is so much more exhilarating than living a plain and boring life, or at least to transport my self there every once in awhile by visiting Disneyland or watching 'Once Upon A Time'. I found this dress at my favorite thrift store and it reminds me so much of the blue fairy from the film "Pinocchio" by Disney. Can you say next dapper day dress?! I sure can.

My total came out to be 13.24 which isn't bad for such cute shoes (that were apart of the "expensive" section of shoes) and a beautiful formal dress that just needs a good dry cleaning. 

Shoes: 5.24

Dress: 7.99

I cannot express to you how much I love these purchases and cannot wait to wear them. 

Till next time my darlings,

Paige Virginia

Thrift Shops and Grandma's Closet.

Hello my dearies, can I just talk about how second hand clothing is sometimes the best? Well, I'm going to anyways... There is nothing more satisfying than wearing an outfit that is completely second hand and probably cheaper than a dress from your local target. Okay, so yes there are things in this world that are more satisfying than that and I adore Target, but hey I like to be a tad dramatic. This outfit was put together on a very lazy day, I wanted to remain comfortable while still having a sense of vintage fashion thrown in.

You like that nice ombre tan I've got going on? That's what you get when you forget to put sunscreen on your chest....

Top: Thrift Shop 

Belt: Forever21(Okay, so this isn't second hand but it was cheap!)

Skirt: Thrift Shop

Shoes: Payless (These aren't second hand either but I've had them for YEARS so I feel like these were worth the buy in eighth grade, especially sense they have lasted so long.)

Hat: Antique Shop in the High Desert

Bracelets: Great Grandma's Hand-me-downs

I was going for a simple, 1950's esque, beatnik kind of look... whether or not I achieved it, well I guess that depends. As for my confidence that day was very high and that is what I think is most important, to be confident.

Remember it's not the clothes that wear you, it's you that wears the clothes (I know, deep right?) But seriously! I can't tell you how many times I get told that people love my style and wish they could wear what I wear yet "they themselves could never pull it off". In my opinion you can wear anything as long as you hold your head up high, believe that you can wear anything, and make sure that you are the one that people are staring at, not just your clothes.

Be confident. Be beautiful. Be YOU. You'll go far with that attitude. 

Till next time my darlings,

Paige Virginia

Confessions of a perfectionist.

per·fec·tion·ist

a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.

Any perfectionists out there? You know, those people who beat themselves up over not getting something right the first time? Or the ones who believe that they are the only ones who aren't absolutely brilliant at everything they do and hate themselves for it? Well, that's the perfect definition of who I am, as a dancer, a friend, a daughter, a sister, and as a human being. 

I can not tell you when perfectionism first appeared in my life, in fact I remember being the complete opposite as a child. I was fairly laid back as a kid, if I didn't get that pirouette right away I wouldn't beat myself up, I would practice everyday until I got it right. Or if something that I was working on creatively/ artistically didn't turn out exactly as planned I would still hang it proudly on my wall because I knew that that was the very definition of art. I was not a child who cried over spilled milk, but broken dishes were another story... My point is, when did I make a complete 180 and become the perfectionist that I am today?

While looking back on my life I noticed this change in myself as soon as I became serious about my walk with God, my dancing, and my overall future. Once I started dancing with who I consider my current dance mentor, Michele, I had a major confidence boost in who I was as a dancer. She consistently made sure that I knew I was a good dancer and had major potential and corrected me as much as she could to help me grow. She stood up for me when others attacked me, she made me a stronger more confident dancer. With all of that positive energy came some bad with that too, I thought if I truly was as good as she says then I need to be better than I currently am and get myself the career that I have always dreamed about. I think thats how most dancers get once their beloved art-form becomes a potential career, one that you will always love but one that loses it's creative edge. You begin to lose the heart of dance for the technique of dance. You focus on how can I change myself to better fit the profile of whatever that certain casting director wants instead of putting who you are as a an artist out for the world to see and embrace. Why? Why do we do this?

Or lets talk about the little things in life, like a new job for instance. As some of you know I am one of the newest partners at Starbucks. I always looked at this job as one that would be fairly stressful but still fun and exciting, now that I am in my second week of working there I have other feelings about it. Don't get me wrong, I still think it's an amazing company to work for and look forward to the future it holds for me, but at the moment I can't help but beat myself up over the fact that I can't seem to grasp every little detail this occupation holds. For instance, not being as quick to helping people with their orders, marking cups, making drinks, or even literally spilling milk. All of these things have gotten me so stressed out to the point where people can notice, and all the other partners tell me to stop stressing and that I'll learn in due timing, but I can't help it. The great thing is that while I am punishing myself for not getting everything right as soon as I learn it, the other partners are so supportive and patient and helpful with me.

Let's talk about one of the biggest offenders of this perfectionist lifestyle, walking with God. Now let me start off by saying that when I first accepted Jesus as my savior and wanted to live my life to the fullest for God I was fully aware that I will never be perfect and that I am loved no mater what mistake I make. I would get right back up after falling down and making a little mistake or even a huge mistake. I knew and still know that I cannot change God's mind on who I am and how much he loves me, but I think all christians hit a time in their life where they try to meet the standards of "what a true christian is". We try our hardest to not show our imperfections, or our humanity, we try so hard to be like Jesus that we tend to forget that we are not him. Yes we are a representation of who he is and what he stands for and we should always try to follow in his footsteps but we should never completely break down when we take two steps back after taking one step forward. Instead of trying to be perfect and hiding our imperfections we should try to embrace them and learn from them. Not only that but others will see that we are able to get back up after falling far far behind and maybe that will inspire them to believe that they are worthy of a second, third, or infinite amounts of chances because we are loved even at our lowest points in life.

I don't understand how I got so far off track by trying to be perfect that I lost my ability to see the beauty and artistry in mistakes. This is something that I am constantly trying to remind myself of, I am not perfect, and will never be. I am not going to be instantly great at everything I do. I am not going to have perfect looks, poise, and actions in the life I live. I am going to say stupid things that I don't mean, I am going to lose friendships over uncontrollable events, and I am certainly going to make stupid decisions in my life. What is so great about all of this is that although we are so imperfect and full of disgusting habits, actions, and flabbergastingly stupid decision making skills, we still have an amazingly perfect father, creator, friend, mentor, and love that will forever desire our shallow attention and our imperfect love because he can see the beauty in his art, humanity. The point is I'm human. You're human. We're all human and we will never be perfect, therefor we can never be a true perfectionist.

Here's to embracing a life that consists of ups and downs, imperfect turns in the road, and what God see's in us no matter how much we may mess up.

Now I am going to finish watch The Notebook so I can fantasize about having an imperfect relationship with a gorgeous man that only exists in my dreams.... So I'll leave you with this,

Romans 8:37-39 - No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Till Next Time My Darlings,

Paige Virginia

1950's Inspired Cotton Candy Princess Dress

Have you ever just seen a dress and thought to yourself, "That dress is so beautiful that it can make me feel like a Disney princess" ? Well this happens to be one that just happens to hang in my closet...

I just love how classic of a cut this dress has. I added a soft pink petticoat to add some volume to the bottom and paired it with light blue pumps, the coolest 1950s clutch, and adorable see through gloves given to me from my grandma.

Also, the colors remind me of cotton candy, you can't go wrong with that.

Not to mention I love how it is able to show off my curves in a very tasteful way.

Best of all this dress was a gift from one of my lovely bosses in the nursery, Christina. She is such a sweetheart and someone I am glad I got to know even more. Thank you again Christina! 

Dress: Gift from Christina

Petticoat: Elsewhere Vintage (Can't remember Price) 

Shoes: H&M $7.00

Bag: Thrift Store $5.00

Gloves: Great Grandma's closet

Photo Credit: My beautiful momma! She says that she can't take photos... but I thought she did a pretty fantastic job, not a single one of these have gone through editing.

A dream of mine has always been to be a princess, whether it's a Disney princess or an actual princess, and this dress allows me to feel like one straight out of the 1950's, that my friends is something a pair of jeans cannot do for you. Ladies, don't EVER allow anyone to make you feel any less than a princess! You are more beautiful and valuable than you will ever know and there is only one man worth giving everything to and he will never take advantage or forsake you. "He has made everything beautiful in it's time." Ecclesiastes 3:11 

Till Next Time My Darlings,

Paige Virginia