Tuesday, June 17, 2014

A letter to those who feel like giving up.

To whom it may concern,

I know how you feel, you see all of your peers around you growing into life as what you've been taught to think. They are getting married, in relationships, graduating college, finding a career path, and just overall moving on with life. Meanwhile, you feel like you haven't even grown an inch in the right direction, you've barely gotten any classes done at school, have no idea what you want to do with your life or don't believe in yourself to accomplish those dreams, are not in a "meaningful" relationship or have maybe never been in one at all. You're still living at home trying to figure out life and feel like you're just worthless, well I've been there time and time again. Pretty much all of this describes exactly how I have felt recently, spinning my wheels in school, not knowing how to get where I want to be, feeling as though all my hopes and dreams are so far fetched and unrealistic, and feeling as a failure to all woman kind because I have never even been on a date before, even at the age of 20 years young. Noticed that I said young? Yeah, I wrote that purposely... See, our world tells us, "Go to school to get your degree by the age of 23 so that you won't be a failure. Go on a date as soon as you get into Jr. High and get your first boyfriend by the age of 16 so you wont be on a journey to crazy cat lady land in your future. Oh! And you definitely need to lose your virginity by the age of 18 or else you will be considered a freak, but you're a slut if you sleep with someone and get caught. You're getting close to your 30's and STILL have no husband?! Pft, you better hang in the towel now for 5 kitty litter boxes and dozens of cat toys for your cat children, that, or marry someone who you just feel so-so about. And your dreams? Go for it! Just make sure you are exceptionally attractive because that's the most important thing in life, to be beautiful. You don't think you are? Well here are some diet pills and loads of makeup to help you achieve 'that look' we are looking for..." Yeah, it is a pretty cruel world we live in.... But I'm not writing to bash the world we live in, even if it seems as though I am. In fact I have quite a different view than what you may be thinking...

See, while all of these statements have been very true in my life I have been able to turn my cheek to those negative guidelines on how life should be lived and turn my gaze on something higher and more beautiful than you could ever imagine. I am a sucker for fairytales, love stories, the whole bit. All my life I have truly believed in these things, I have believed that true love exists, that Prince Charming is waiting for me on a white horse ready to save me, and that all things are possible even if everyone around you is telling you it's not. I am able to see the beauty in pain and mistakes and the true beauty that lies beneath the surface of people who have the most gorgeous of actions. But this wasn't always so. Nope, I was not born perfect. Shocker, I know... There was only one thing for me that made all of these unreachable dreams and philosophies on life possible. Whether you believe it or not, it is true to me. God was that one thing that made all things infinitely possible. 

At a young age I accepted Christ as my savior only knowing that I couldn't handle this world alone... and boy am I glad that I made that prayer at such a young age! I don't know what my life would have been like if I had never made that prayer and life-altering change. My morals, beliefs, and standards would be very contrary to what I know today and that would change my entire outlook on life. Because I have been blessed to know my God for so long I have been able to mold my life in a way that goes against the current of our world. I have never been on a date or in a relationship, excluding those stupid elementary love affairs that consist of awkward hugs in between sightings of eachother. I have been able to learn true independence along with finding my true self and what my standards on life are. I am able to see the world in a glass is half full kind of way that is full of miracles and fantasy-like qualities all because I got off my high horse to allow God to show his infinite light for the world. 

It's really amazing when I think about it, without having such a positive source in my life I don't know what my world would look like. Obviously I have had my major up and downs and those will continue till the day I die. I have given in to the ways of the world, one in particular was giving in to an unhealthy love affair with a boy who was only in it because it was summer and he had nothing better to do. I gave into him because I was at a point of giving up on finding the right guy and waiting for God. I became impatient and selfish and didn't care what God wanted for me and lowered all my standards for my taste in boys and in return I received a bad summer fling that left me with a sense of being all alone in a scary world. And to get the elephant out of the virtual room, yes I am a virgin and will be till my wedding night because that is my own personal moral, and in no way do I think I am a better person than someone who has lost their virginity but that is a whole different topic all on it's own. Anyway, I gave up on the hope of finding my Prince Charming that was created just for me and opened myself up to fall for someone who did not live their life for Christ. I ended up getting my heart broken into pieces for years and learned a very valuable lesson on who I am and what I need and that is to not lose hope in the unknown. God truly has a plan for you and he will bring you your prince or princess. They will be more than you could ever dream of, they will want to protect you from pain, and they will sacrifice whatever they have to in order to make that possible for you. God is worth the wait. This is something I tell myself everyday, because I know even through the struggle of wanting to fall in love and tending to grow impatient with God, that God's fairytale ending for me will be well worth the wait.

Always have faith and hope in yourself and your dreams no matter what the world may say. Trust me, I know it's easier to just give up on a hard road that will end in the city of your dreams for a detour to a quaint little town that is nice and cozy for the time being but will never truly satisfy your innermost desires. You are hearing this from a hopeful professional dancer, so yes, I know how daunting it is to go after a dream that is more likely to reject you than accept you and judge you based off of the way you look. There have been a few times that I just couldn't handle the rejection anymore, I thought to myself 'It isn't worth it...' but God told me otherwise. He showed me that I am meant to perform for others because I can make them laugh, smile, or cry and that I shouldn't lower my standards for my future career just because a few people didn't want me for a particular part. He purposely puts certain passions into your soul for a reason, and typically those passions are going to be difficult to chase, they are not going to be handed to you on a silver platter. You will have to step out of your comfort zone and fight for it, but not only that, you are going to have to trust that God will be there to catch you when you fall and will guide you the rest of the way, and he will. 

I guess the moral of this letter is to always have faith and never give up. Everyone has a story, a passion, and a dream to be fulfilled and it is never too late to achieve those things. God has his own timing for a reason, this is something that has been my most important lesson in life, his timing is perfect even if at the time it seems like it is the most heart wrenching disappointment. You will later see why he was saying no at that particular moment to that one boy or girl, that one potential job, or whatever you may going through. Remember that God says you are beautiful no matter what anyone may say about you, you have a purpose in this world to better it, you are worth fighting for, you're not a loser because your still a virgin or have never been in a relationship before, you're not trash if you have lost your virginity to someone before marriage, there is hope of finding your true love no matter how old you are, you are "fearfully and wonderfully made..." (Psalm 149:14) and that makes you worth more than you could ever imagine. Don't lose hope in something beautiful and full of hope and love and sacrifice no matter what that may be for you. For me that is God and he has become my everything.

I hope in some way this has inspired at least one person to live their life to the fullest, to better themselves and possibly even help someone find what I have found in Christ. 

Till next time my dearies,

Paige Viriginia

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